One of the ironies of the world is that in under developed countries, young people are dying to get to school – in some cases that’s literally true. I don’t want to get on a political soap box because that’s not what this blog is about. Others can do a much better job of promoting that agenda than I can.
I, however, can change the world one student at a time.
If you’re frustrated with school, ask yourself why. I mean really ask yourself the question honestly. Is it because you’re lazy? Tired? Bored? Scared (being bullied)? Not doing as well as you’d like? Not in the popular crowd/group?
Ask yourself the question until YOU KNOW the real reason.
When you do know the absolute real REASON, deal with it.
Deal with it because it’s what’s preventing you from getting the RESULTS you want and dream about.
We’re REASON or we’re RESULTS.
It’s as simple as that.
It’s as complicated as that.
Complicated because UNLESS you’re honest with yourself, you’ll never deal with the #1 obstacle in your path. That means you’ll never achieve your true/ultimate destiny.
That’s enough for you to think about for today, or not.
Most people won’t give much thought, but then again most people (as many as 80% of 8 out 10) end up unhappy in their lives as adults, with regrets.
Regrets that go all the way back to their school days when they KNOW they could have made a shift that would have changed their lives forever.
If only they had know then what they know now.
Well guess what?
You are young enough NOW to make the change.
Make it and I guarantee you that in 20 years from now, you’ll remember this blog post when you meet someone who has regrets and is unhappy. You’ll realise that YOU made the effort when it counted… RIGHT NOW.
And they didn’t.
Don’t be that person — I know too many of them.
Lives lost and ruined because of lack of discipline, self esteem and self worth.
But also pure, sheer laziness and lack of will.
You can achieve ANYTHING you want in life (or school), you just need to WANT IT BAD ENOUGH and then do WHATEVER it takes to make it happen.
I know –
- I have 5 university degrees, including an Engineering degree, MBA, Law and PhD degrees.
- I can solve a Rubik’s cube in less than 4 minutes
- I am a top 20 world-ranked squash player
- I speak 2 languages fluently and understand a 3rd conversationally
- I retired from the rat race at age 42
- I’ve been to 36 different countries
- I’ve had 6 BMWs, 2 of them convertibles
- I’ve been in the same committed relationship for more than 27 years
- I haven’t had a sick day in more than 20 years
- I can speed read 1,800+ words/minute
I’m not superman – I just have great strategies, but most important of all, I have passion and drive to make things happen.
Gotta love ya! Awesome post. I had this conversation many times with my son but he could simply not see beyond the present. Now he is contemplating college application and all the “Now” thinking he did, which was peer acceptance by the students we called losers in order to avoid bullying has led to poor grades.
Despite his natural brilliance and used to be curiosity and inventiveness, his choices for college will now be very slim.
He and I believe many of today’s youth can’t muster the discipline and work towards the future mentality. I have not been able to reach him and really don’t want to invest in college for him unless and until he does change his focus.
He just got his first job as a dishwasher and is very proud to be earning money. I am going to wait a month and ask him how long could he see himself doing this kind of job. I am going to start with a week. Yes, of course, he could; a month, surely; a year, maybe. When we get to two years etc, his responses will surely become more interesting. Any other thoughts?
There are two types of people:
Moving towards people who seek goals and outcome in the future. They “want a degree”, “look good at the beach in a bathing suit”, “want to win a tournament” or “learn to play the piano”.
Moving away from people who seek NOT TO LOSE what they have… They don’t want to get fat, don’t want to lose their investment/money… They do “everything” to avoid what they don’t want rather than seek what they do want. Many actually don’t know what they want, which is part of the problem…
Here’s the bad news. In my 20+ years of consulting, advising and mentoring, I have never seen anyone switch from Moving Away to Moving Towards – it’s a deep-seated belief system.
The bad news gets worse – Moving Away from people are necessarily pessimists, but they are much more cynical and sceptical. They don’t believe “in the system”, usually thinking it’s a conspiracy working “against them” – even though they are the SOURCE of the problem.
What do you do?
You hope that the NEGATIVE experience is enough to propel them to get AWAY from it – trying to them to want something “better” is a dream that will never happen. It’s not in their DNA.
Does that mean only Moving Towards people are successful?
Not necessarily. Many entrepreneurs HATE something and solve that problem with incredible success…
But the odds are stacked against the moving from people – they are reactionary rather than proactive.
Sorry…
Hi, I need help! plzz help me!!
I’m 25 in medical school and started when I was 20. i just finished my second year so will be entering my third in a few weeks. do the maths!!
Basically i am supposed to be graduating this year!! I am not disciplined and I procrastinate horridly!! I think I have extremely low self esteem so basically I dunno I feel lost frustrated and i dunno I always feel like crap!!!
I feel stupid and I feel like I can’t even carry on a normal everyday conversation without feeling scared that I will not know what they’re speaking about.
I feel like a loser.
Help me seriously!
Dear F,
You have the case of ‘punching above your weight’ and getting hurt – it’s a term used in boxing and wrestling when a smaller/lighter opponent goes up against a bigger/heavier opponent.
The advantage is that it makes you stronger or the reverse is it can shatter your confidence and self-esteem.
As a competitive squash player, I often experience this feeling – whenever I play someone who is much better than I am (younger, faster, better racket skills)…
What you need to do is get your confidence back. In your case, this means spend time with non-medical students, doctors and nurses.
Make friends with people LESS DRIVEN, LESS FOCUSED and LESS ACCOMPLISHED. You’ll quickly realize how much smarter and capable you are than the average person – without becoming an elitist snob.
It’s all a question of contrast.
As a squash player, I play a wide variety of players on an on-going basis, a mix of better, equal and inferior players. Each one serves a purpose.
Better players force me to improve.
Equal players give me a chance to test my new skills and abilities.
Inferior players give me the confidence to try more options/shots and combinations that I would otherwise not try.
Remember that only 1 person determines your worth – YOU.
Often, it’s the most accomplished that have the lowest self-esteem – simply because they raise the bar too high.
There’s nothing wrong with lowering the bar, getting your confidence back and then raising it again…
Saturation is also a problem in professions like medicine where it’s all “work, work, work” – you need a diversion to re-set your mind and spirit. For me, I’ve used sport, doing a degree or traveling to counter-balance my work/career pressures.
You need to find a ‘psychological sanctuary’ either in something else (activity) someone else (spouse/partner/friend).