Weapons Of Math Destruction

At New York’s Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra is a fearsome cult”, Ashcroft said. “They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like “x” and “y” and refer to themselves as “unknowns”, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

“As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle,” Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.

“I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence,” the President said, adding: “Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line.”

President Bush warned, “These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex.”

Attorney General Ashcroft said, “As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks.”

6 Responses to “Weapons Of Math Destruction”

  • Very droll,

    but sometime it can be just like this. Facts and calculations can be inconvenient truths. This is one thing your Management By Metrics process teaches. That in the absence of real data, we tend to fill in the gaps with our own Gut Feel invented data and can easily delude ourselves.

    It is the same with Electronics Design or Embedded Software Developmnent. You need to do the calculations and do the testing to make sure it really works. With Software in particular, the assumptions can really come home to bite you.

    Ray Keefe

  • It seems like this series only works for subjects that require a lot of reading. How about critical thinking subjects such as geometry, calculus, chemistry? How can this course help me to acheive a much better grade for these kinds of critical thinking subjects especially on an exam?

  • Dear Dr. Marc ; thanks a lot for your offer to get the Video of Speed Reading. At the moment I am unable to afford it even art 27$; I’m retired and live in Argentina, where the economic situation is too bad. My income is 800$ monthly. I am a student at law school dispite my 68 years old. I took a speed reading course in Argentina, and read abou 600 words. I’ll apreciate too much if you send me by mail some advices, to get better performance.
    Excuse me, and my bad english, my native language is spanish.
    Have a good time and good luck !!

  • This is phenomenal post. Much like everything Marc does. It is done in a lighthearted fun manner, is effective and relevant for the present day and is out of the ordinary or a pure example of ‘The Exponential Mindset’ and ‘Antimimeticisomorphism.’ Communicating a message in a creative way.

    This is a great example of communicating creatively and standing out from the crowd. While remaining true to your persona. All things Dr Marc teaches through Exponential Programs.

    Paul Telling
    Creative Communications Creator and Graphic Facilitator
    Pauls Site
    Visualise and Monetise!

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